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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24046282">Insomnia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErisabesuFic/pseuds/Erisabesu'>Erisabesu (ErisabesuFic)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bonding, Canon Universe, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Insomnia, Intense, M/M, Morning Cuddles, Naruto Rare Pair Week 2020, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Polyamory, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Prompt: Bad things happen, Rough Sex, Secrets, Sleep Deprivation, Spooning, dark themes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:47:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,017</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24046282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErisabesuFic/pseuds/Erisabesu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Without him they are lost, and restless.  Stained bone-deep with the bloodshed of assassination and torture and cruelty.  Plagued with insomnia.  Sharing small comforts with each other to survive, but suffering a unique agony separated from Naruto’s company, without his bond."</p><p>Day 4: Naruto Rare Pair Week 2020 -- "Bad Things Happen"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sai/Uchiha Sasuke, Sai/Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Insomnia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Naruto Rare Pair Week 2020 - Prompt: "Bad Things Happen"</p><p>This fic features Sasuke and Sai navigating sleep deprivation and some dark themes, and supporting one another as best they can. It gets a little rough at one point, but what happens still fits within the relationship boundaries these two have in this story, especially in this context.  If rough sex is triggering for you please do not read further.  Thanks! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="has-text-align-center">“Insomnia”</p><p class="has-text-align-center">♦</p><p class="has-text-align-center"> </p><p>The sky is nearly full dark when the summons for an A-rank away mission arrives for Naruto.  </p><p>None of them respond at first.  Their first meal together in weeks is spread out on the kitchen table, half eaten.  Sai puts down his chopsticks.  Sasuke flicks his eyes to Naruto, who meets his gaze, frowns, sighs, and gets up from his seat at the table.  He puts down his napkin and makes his way out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, presumably to change and get ready. </p><p>Sasuke gets up to pack a bento with the leftovers, and clears away the dishes, as annoyed as the others are.  Maybe more so.  He returned home from his last mission just a few hours ago and now <em>this</em>.  Lately it seems like they can’t ever catch a break, being sent in all directions in quick succession.  Sai helps put a few things away that are easier with two hands, and then follows Naruto to help him pack; Naruto tends to forget essentials without reminders, so he and Sasuke take turns double-checking his knapsack.</p><p>At the door, Naruto kisses Sasuke goodbye, and then Sai, strong hands gently cupping their faces in turn.  It’s clear he doesn’t want to go.  They hold him tight, breathe in his scent, delaying his departure for as long as they can before the time’s up.</p><p>“Be back soon,” Naruto whispers, forcing a big smile and waving as he always does before disappearing into the shadows.</p><p>A moment ago the three of them had been so relaxed, talking about nothing in particular and stealing sly glances.  Taking their time with dinner, sharing lighthearted smiles, feet brushing each other under the table in affection.  Flirtation.  The usual teasing banter, stealing food from each other’s plates–</p><p>And now they’re forced apart again.  </p><p>Sasuke closes the door, and exchanges a look with Sai.  Neither of them mind spending time alone together.  But ever since Naruto shared his chakra with them during the war, ever since their three-way friendship changed to something more, something intimate, something they all refuse to let go, he and Sai tend to have a rough time of it when their boyfriend isn’t around.</p><p>Not that they’d ever worry Naruto, or let Naruto find out.  They’re just different from him.  </p><p>He and Sai were both systematically broken down, reformed and remade inside hellish places of darkness and sacrifice so wholly ingrained into their being, that at this point Naruto is the only one who can settle their hearts, or bring the kind of tranquility necessary for any facsimile of happiness.  Without him they are lost, and restless.  Stained bone-deep with the bloodshed of assassination and torture and cruelty.  Plagued with insomnia.  Sharing small comforts with each other to survive, but suffering a unique agony separated from Naruto’s company, without his bond.  </p><p>It’s their secret torment, their hurdle to overcome.  Sai touches Sasuke’s arm, briefly, and gives a half-smile before retreating to the bathroom for his evening bath.  </p><p>Sasuke has already taken his, so he stretches his legs out on the couch and picks up his book where he’d left it on the coffee table a week prior.  Sai will probably be a while, and he won’t begrudge him some peace and quiet in solitude, for whatever comfort it can bring.  </p><p>At some point after midnight they go through the motions of retiring.  The bed feels overly massive for just the two of them.  In the utter silence, Naruto’s absence is conspicuous.  </p><p>Sasuke closes his eyes, ears and senses on alert.  The hours tick by.  The quiet and their training keep them both awake, muscles ready to spring at a moment’s notice, unable to trust the environment is safe even though it’s their home, and they are together, side by side.  Deceit can lurk in even the most unsuspecting corners.  </p><p>Sasuke has barely slept in the last week, and it doesn’t matter how desperately he wants it.  It’s not possible, and won’t be possible in this quiet tension that never quite leaves his or Sai’s limbs–they’re too well trained, killing instincts too ready at the surface to be tempered in any circumstance, save for when Naruto’s presence can offer them protection from themselves.  </p><p>Eventually Sai closes the distance on the bed and they spoon.  The gesture is oddly calming, and not something they do all that often.  But it doesn’t bring either of them the kind of peace they need to fall asleep, despite their efforts to be still and summon rest.  </p><p>Just in case, they allow no weapons in the bedroom, and remove any objects that could become a weapon in shinobi hands.  If one of them should happen to drift off, even for a split second, inevitably they will jerk awake within moments and react with battle aura at the maximum, focused singly on lashing out.  They’re so skilled, it’s not worth the risk that one of them could die from the other completely losing his grip on reality.  </p><p>And so they endure.</p><p>Sasuke’s eyes open automatically with the dawn.  Sai, sensing this, turns in Sasuke’s hold and meets his gaze.  His hand traces down the line of Sasuke’s left shoulder and partial arm, then slides underneath it, palm pressing flat between shoulder blades.  Sasuke accepts the invitation and bends forward to meet Sai’s lips.  Just once, not too short, not lingering too long.  A simple savoring of intimate contact that is at once gentle and undemanding.  </p><p>“I’ll make coffee,” Sai offers, then maneuvers overtop Sasuke to the bed’s edge, and gets up.  </p><p>Sasuke rolls onto his back and watches him leave the room, nude save for his boxer briefs.  Then he lays there with his right hand beneath his head, watching the angle of the morning sun slant through the curtains and shift slowly along the wall.  </p><p>Sai brings him a steaming mug, and sets it on the nightstand.  He retreats back to the kitchen and Sasuke sits up, taking the mug and sipping.  He wraps his hand around the ceramic, tightly, letting the heat of the bitter liquid seep into his bones, and then gets up and goes into the living room, sitting again on the couch with his legs extended.  He exchanges the mug with his book, crosses his feet and settles in, the motion causing his pajama pants to ride up above his ankles.  </p><p>Sai sits at the kitchen table with his coffee and his sketchbook, pencil skritching across the paper’s surface.  He’s within Sasuke’s view from the couch, but Sasuke can’t see what he’s drawing.  He listens to the noises absently as he reads.  </p><p>There’s something lulling or hypnotic about it that eases a bit of the restlessness Sasuke feels during these times whenever Naruto is separated from them.  He closes his eyes, forces his shoulders to relax, but the susurration of Sai’s pencil markings is not quite enough to take him over the threshold of consciousness.</p><p>They tried creating white noise like this once.  Sai painted an ink hamster in an exercise wheel, and let it run, and run, and run.  The sounds of the wheel turning in a steady rhythm were like a kind of genjutsu, offering Sasuke a brief chance to doze off, except it lasted mere fractions of a second before he blinked awake once more.  It just wasn’t <em>enough</em>.  Like a tease.  Frustrating.  The repeated attempts slowly wore away the thin barrier containing the well of anger tucked deep within him, so eventually it spilled out, ruining everything and everyone he touched.  Sai is tougher than he appears, but such unfulfilling slivers of sleep are not worth losing any amount of his control and risking their lives.  As the drain on Sai’s chakra limits the duration, and also keeps Sai from being able to sleep while the jutsu is activated, they soon scrapped the idea as a failure.</p><p>In exchange, Sasuke tried several different genjutsu on Sai, sending him into a false slumber for as long as his chakra lasted.   But the effects were not good.  Sai’s body rejected it threefold afterwards, which was far worse to endure than simply going without sleep in the first place.  Sasuke nursed Sai through the fevers, vomiting, and shakes, chagrined to have put anyone through something so awful, much less someone important to him, tough or not.</p><p>There were medicines that would knock them out, of course.  But he and Sai had had quite enough medical experimentation and drugs to last the rest of their lives, and wouldn’t seek it willingly outside of an emergency.  </p><p>Was this an emergency?  No, Sasuke thought.  Not yet.</p><p>Their regular contact with Naruto, when they can resonate with his unique energy and soak in all his light, keeps them on an even keel for the most part.  They all share a deep bond, an unbreakable connection built up after the war.  It <em>works</em>.  As long as they are physically together, anyways–the recent ups and downs of their schedules have been interfering with the balance far more than ever before, which puts them at a major disadvantage when Naruto’s not home.</p><p>Sasuke closes his book and sighs.  He rubs his tired hand over his eyes and hair, and then joins Sai in the kitchen.  “What would you like for breakfast?”</p><p>Sai shrugs, then cocks his head, gaze dipping from Sasuke’s face to leer at his groin.  “Besides your penis?”</p><p>Sasuke rolls his eyes, and cuffs Sai on the back of the head.  “Keep dreaming,” he replies.  He opens the refrigerator door to see what ingredients they have.</p><p>Sai’s mouth quirks and he takes a long drink of coffee before returning pencil to paper. They both know the joke wasn’t serious. </p><p>That they’ll end up in bed is a given, but it’s a point of pride to see how long they can manage without sleep before giving in to the desires that <em>can </em>be satisfied.</p><p class="has-text-align-center"> </p><p class="has-text-align-center">♦</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke handed in his latest top secret intelligence mission report less than twenty-four hours ago, so he has at least a week of leave time before the possibility of being sent out again.  He is on his own much of the day, as Sai’s work at the Hokage tower managing one of the ANBU divisions has unpredictable hours.</p><p>Their apartment is a sizable distance from the heart of the village, but Sasuke’s finely honed senses still pick up a lot of the activity, feeding his brain a constant stream of data to analyze and interpret.  It drains him, but the ability that’s so useful in battle or reconnaissance can’t be shut down just because he’s living like a civilian.  He takes care of the shopping and some of the laundry, keeping busy with mundane tasks and ignoring the general tension in his body.</p><p>Sai brings some choice sake home with him that evening. After a light meal, they open the first bottle and exchange a cup, and then another. The mood is pleasant.  No conversation is necessary between them; neither of them are naturally inclined in that way.  </p><p>The sake is high end.  Sasuke appreciates the taste and understands why Sai picked it out.  If Naruto were there, he’d drink with them, sure, but he wouldn’t be able to distinguish the finer notes in the aroma or the flavor.  </p><p>He pours another cup and finds Sai looking at him from across the kitchen table, chin resting on his palm.</p><p>“You’ve got smudges under your eyes,” he says.  </p><p>Sasuke meets his gaze, and drinks.</p><p>“When’s the last time you slept, Sasuke?”</p><p>“What about you?” Sasuke tilts his head.  “You don’t look any better.”</p><p>Sai’s expression doesn’t change.  He shrugs.  “Is the alcohol helping?”</p><p>Sasuke’s lips turn downward.  He twists his small sake cup in a circle within his long fingers.  Around, and around, and around.  Sai holds out his empty cup, and Sasuke stops to pour him another helping.  An hour or so before dawn, they finish the second bottle. </p><p>When the sun cracks through the kitchen curtains in a wash of yellow, Sai brews a pot of coffee and switches out their sake cups for mugs.</p><p class="has-text-align-center"> </p><p class="has-text-align-center">♦</p><p> </p><p>While Sai’s at work, Sasuke passes the time sharpening every blade in the house.  Between the three of them, that makes a hell of a lot of pointy edges and tempered steel.  It occupies his hand and mind for a good while.</p><p>When he finishes with their weaponry, he takes a long bath, and submerges his whole head under the scalding water.  It dampens the exterior sensory information and allows his mind to focus inward on his pulse.  Steady. Calm. Pushing the blood in his veins in circuits like rivers and hiking trails along remote mountains.  The rhythm increases incrementally until it resembles an oncoming freight train and finally he sits up, sucking air into his lungs.  He yawns, and stretches, blinking through the water droplets running down his face from wet hair while the rate of his heartbeat slowly returns to within the normal range. </p><p>Sai sends him an ink cobra confirming when his workday will end, and Sasuke procures something special for dinner at the store.  Something tempting, and risky.  Something Sai will appreciate.</p><p>He finishes plating it when Sai comes in the front door.  Sasuke turns to see his reaction, though Sai is a master dissembler.  </p><p>“Oh.  Fugu,” he says, eyes flicking over the details of the artfully layered sashimi on the plate.  Sai’s mouth turns up at the corners in a secretive smile and he meets Sasuke’s gaze head on.  “How thoughtful.”</p><p>Sasuke smirks, and sets the plates on the table.  While they both have some immunity to poisons, preparing Fugu properly requires a delicate touch and a sharp focus.  Not just anyone can do it.</p><p>Sai reaches behind him to grab the chopsticks, and touches the small of his back for a moment as they pass.  Sasuke’s nerve endings erupt up and down his body and he shivers, reaching for the counter to steady his balance, his cock twitching half-hard in his pants.  Their eyes meet.  Sai’s brows lift as they look at each other.  </p><p>“Tell me sooner if it gets this bad,” Sai says, obviously concerned.  He reaches towards Sasuke’s hand on the counter, and touches their fingers.  He looks at their food, then meets Sasuke’s eyes with inquiry.  </p><p>Sasuke considers, annoyed at his body’s betrayal.  His neck darkens in a flush.   His skin is near painfully sensitive all over from the numerous days deprived of sleep, and at this point he has to admit there is only one cure.  </p><p>He steps over to the table and pulls the chair out at an angle before sitting down.  Then he leans back in the chair, his lap available and waiting.</p><p>Sai reads the signal, and licks his bottom lip.  He straddles him facing the table with the waiting meal of Fugu, settling back against Sasuke’s front, and nuzzling his head into Sasuke’s neck before offering his throat as an hors d’oeuvre.  </p><p>Sasuke shivers, again, and then nibbles the sensitive area where Sai’s neck meets his shoulder, and strokes his hand up Sai’s bare side to the edge of his cropped uniform.  Sai moans, guiding Sasuke’s hand up to his chest, where his nipples have hardened under his shirt.</p><p>Sasuke’s long fingers stretch to tease both nipples at once, while licking and biting Sai’s neck where he knows Sai likes it the best.  Sai responds by shuddering in his lap, grinding his ass into Sasuke’s obvious hard-on.  Then Sasuke reaches for the plate of sashimi and Sai pulls the dish closer so he can take a piece and feed it into Sai’s waiting mouth.  The fish is slippery on Sai’s lips and tongue; he licks Sasuke’s fingers and sucks on them until Sasuke replaces them with his tongue in a deep, forceful kiss.  </p><p>In turn, Sai feeds him slices of Fugu between kisses. Their hands and mouths escalate until the meal has been consumed, their clothing askew or lying on the kitchen floor around them.  Sai rotates over Sasuke’s lap, facing him and lining up their erections, skin flushed and body just as eager as Sasuke’s for sexual stimulation.  </p><p>Sasuke palms their cocks together, rough and impatient.  Sai grips the back of the chair and rolls his hips in that certain way, and Sasuke groans into his collarbones, thighs flexing underneath Sai’s legs.  He pants ragged breaths into Sai’s neck and Sai’s arms wrap tight around his shoulders until they both release amid a string of moans and curses, and kisses that are sloppy like Naruto’s on lazy summer nights when he’s had too much booze and the Kyuubi can’t keep up.</p><p>Sasuke closes his eyes, nerve endings still on fire, nowhere near sated.  Sai carefully stands up, wipes their stomachs with a dinner napkin which he tosses carelessly on the table, and pulls Sasuke to his feet.  Sasuke’s pants fall down to his ankles, and he steps out of them, pushing his underwear the rest of the way off too.  </p><p>“No need to hold back,” Sai says, face expressionless but eyes dark and velvety, hands warm on Sasuke’s waist.</p><p>“Like I would.”  Sasuke cocks his head in challenge, and goes to the fridge for two water bottles, hooking the necks with his fingers.  He lightly tosses one to Sai and heads for the bedroom, his boyfriend following right on his heels. </p><p>There are far worse ways to spend the night than exploring physical delights with Sai.  He knows Sai, but enjoys rediscovering how they’re an equal match in stamina, precision, and creative strategy.  Sai opens up under him, eagerly drawing him in, inch by hardened inch, wanton pleasure coloring his skin.</p><p>Sai twines their tongues and sucks on his lower lip, then murmurs, “I forgot, Naruto’s is bigger…”</p><p>“Shut up,” Sasuke growls, changing the angle of his thrusts and making it impossible for Sai to utter any other complaint whatsoever over the course of the next few hours, positions, and climaxes.</p><p>With Sai’s enthusiastic participation, Sasuke burns off the majority of his restless energy, and reaches a point of languid bonelessness.  Similarly sated, Sai curls into his back on the bare mattress and twines their legs peacefully, sticky sheets and bedding in a heap on the floor as neither of them care to move or remake the bed just yet.</p><p>Together they face yet another dawn, hearts and bodies slightly less burdened but still slaves to their training, which keeps their eyes wide open, minds alert and ready for action without a single moment’s respite.</p><p> </p><p class="has-text-align-center">♦</p><p> </p><p>The fifth night, Sasuke is snappish, paranoid, and mean.  He doesn’t want to be, exactly, but his insomniatic nerves have been frayed to the last remaining filaments, and hateful words fire off his lips like bolts in a crossbow, strategically aimed for killing shots.  </p><p>Sai is also ragged, and worn out.  His normally impassive face shadows with anger and he spits insults that zing like senbons stinging flesh, purposefully puncturing the chakra network with pinpoint accuracy during the argument.  </p><p>Furious, Sasuke traps Sai by the couch and grabs his jaw in his one remaining hand, fingers curving into his boyfriend’s cheeks. </p><p>“Say that again and you’re dead,” he warns.</p><p>“Fuck you, Uchiha,” Sai retorts, eyes flashing.  </p><p>Sasuke digs his nails into Sai’s skin–Sai knocks his hand away with a forearm and Sasuke tsks, arching his body to pin Sai against the couch cushions and clawing for his throat.  The red of his sharingan whirls to the surface and Sai suddenly chucks a teacup at his head, splashing his face with scalding liquid and forcing him to blink.  Sasuke knocks the cup aside before it can make contact; it lands on the coffee table where it shatters into pieces.</p><p>Sai rushes and knees him hard in the gut, throws his body weight and takes him to the floor.  Sasuke buckles to avoid some of the damage, but still has the air driven from his lungs.  He thrashes, enraged, unaware of his ankle smacking into the coffee table hard enough to bruise because Sai’s hand has slipped between his legs and grabbed his junk so tight Sasuke goes rigid, teeth bared.  </p><p>“Get the fuck off!”</p><p>“Settle down,” Sai commands.</p><p>Sasuke lashes out with elbows and fists and an angry cry.  But Sai isn’t quite as sleep deprived and he’s able to sway out of range and then dart forward and bite Sasuke on the mouth, drawing first blood.</p><p>Sasuke hisses and turns away, and to subdue him Sai bites his neck instead, right where the curse mark used to be, and Sasuke’s back suddenly arches off the floor.  He’s flooded with sensation, not all of it painful or unwanted, mad desires stirring up from his core, and in that moment he’s completely ravenous as he looks up at Sai–Sai’s eyes flash glossy black, dilated deep with shared understanding.</p><p>“Tell me what you want,” Sai says, voice breathy from the effort of holding him down.  His hand strokes Sasuke roughly through his pants in a guess that’s right on the mark.</p><p>Sasuke’s cock responds immediately, but he still pushes at Sai’s arms on principle.  “No.”</p><p>“Tell me,” Sai insists.  </p><p>The hand speeds up at his groin, and Sasuke bites back any noises until Sai’s hands tangle in his pants and underwear, pulling and shoving all else aside including the coffee table and broken teacup shards.  </p><p>Sasuke writhes on the floor, teeth bared. He can’t say it, but he yanks Sai over him and claws his fingers down the front of Sai’s body to find the bulge between his legs and show him what he wants.  Sai arches into his palm, and Sasuke trembles, aching, struggling to undo the button of Sai’s pants.  Sai takes over, then, and rolls him over on the bare tatami, still wet with cooling tea, for the only thing that will calm this madness inside them swirling out of control.  </p><p>There’s no oil or anything nearby, so Sai collects Sasuke’s spit with his mouth and fingers and mercilessly squeezes out the precum from the tip of his cock to try and ready him.  It works well enough.  Sasuke grits his teeth against the burning force of Sai’s cock invading him, thrusting all the way into him.  His skin splotches with answering heat, red patterns that twist and flux over the surface of his body, and he buries his head on his forearm, relishing the strange, painful and alluring sexual contact with his boyfriend that somehow perfectly matches the chaos of everything he’s feeling and can’t express. </p><p>Sai’s hands dig into his hips and then scratch across his shoulder blades and down his spine, soft huffs of pleasure or frustration or a thousand other things escaping past his lips.  Sasuke’s ears twitch, every noise amplifying his arousal and also his shame–his need is so great but Sai gets it, he understands, and he delivers, shoving Sasuke’s knees harder and harder into the floor and reaching into the deepest parts of his body with all that he has.</p><p>Sasuke feels his climax building, and reaches for Sai’s hand to crush in an iron grip.  Naruto’s may indeed be bigger, could split him open even more, but this kind of sex isn’t what he wants with Naruto, isn’t what he needs from Naruto–he <em>never </em>wants Naruto to see him like this, slipping back so far under dark waters that he can’t recognize himself, saying and doing things he can’t take back.  He clutches onto Sai’s hand and whispers his name.</p><p>“Shhhh, yes, yes,” Sai murmurs, then slams his cock right where Sasuke wants it most, four, five, six, seven times– </p><p>“Ahhhhhhhh!” Sasuke shouts, cock spurting suddenly beneath him, back and shoulders shaking with the tremors. </p><p>Sai grunts, and stills, unable to move while Sasuke is clenching so tight.  He pushes Sasuke’s body flat with a hand on his neck.  “<em>Breathe</em>, Sasuke,” he orders, and Sasuke does.  He sucks in a jagged breath and feels his body start to go limp.  </p><p>“Mmmmm,” Sai groans, shifting his fingers into Sasuke’s hair to stroke his scalp, bringing gooseflesh to Sasue’s skin as Sai grinds his cock in small circles and then pulls out enough to thrust again, short and shallow and fast. </p><p>Sasuke breathes through his open mouth, the burn and the ache and the pleasure mixing him up so that all he can do is want–Sai gives him everything, over and over, until the dregs of Sasuke’s deep rooted hatred and self loathing have run their course and he thinks he might want to come back to the self that can live and love and accept the love that is offered.  </p><p>It’s a long while before their energy runs out.  They wind up collapsed there on the floor, in a mess of discarded clothes and raw skin and ejaculate.   </p><p>Sasuke flops his arm over his eyes.  His breathing slowly returns to a less frantic pace, his thoughts and emotions returning to the center like sand filling an hourglass, the darkness ebbing away from his sharp edges to be replaced with a euphoric weightlessness.</p><p>When he can move, Sai helps him to his feet, and together they wobble into the bathroom and share the shower nozzle until they’re both completely clean.  Sasuke smooths his wet hair from his face, letting the spray wash over his eyelids.  </p><p>He’s witnessed Sai battle his demons too, and has helped him through it, just like this, which is the one tolerable thing at this point after… all that was said and done.</p><p>Sasuke blinks his eyes open and turns off the spray, taking Sai’s hand and pulling him to the bathtub for a long soak.  He’s a bit taller, so he gets in first, and Sai sinks down in front of him, leaning back and resting his head on Sasuke’s collar bone.  Sasuke crosses his arm over Sai’s chest, fingertips submerged in the scalding water.  </p><p>There is something to be said for full body skin contact that isn’t a prelude to sex.  Sai traces the lean muscles of Sasuke’s forearm with lazy fingers.  They align their feet and flex and curl their toes, just for the interesting sensation.  </p><p>When the water’s cold, they get into bed, positions reversed, bundled under the blankets.  They leave the mess in the living room for the morning.  The remaining hours of night pass with the mirrored sounds of their steady breaths echoing in the otherwise silent room. </p><p>As motionless as they are, it’s impossible to turn off their senses that mark every kindred nighttime creature outside on the hunt: bats swallowing moths, snakes piercing rats with their venomous fangs, hawks swooping down onto juvenile rabbits and carrying them away, blood dripping from their talons. </p><p class="has-text-align-center"> </p><p class="has-text-align-center">♦</p><p> </p><p>An hour before dawn, Sasuke and Sai go preternaturally still, sensing the unexpected, imminent arrival of their boyfriend. </p><p>Sasuke turns in Sai’s arms, brushing the hair from his boyfriend’s forehead and then tilting his mouth so they can kiss, blankets wrapped in a tight cocoon around them.  His lip is slightly swollen from the bite yesterday, but the pain doesn’t matter.  He leans his body into Sai’s, licking his tongue along Sai’s lips and then into his mouth, gentle, insistent.  A gesture of gratitude, for surviving with him.  Helping him.  Sai kisses back to confirm that this–whatever <em>this </em>entails; whenever <em>this </em>is needed–is freely given. </p><p>They look at each other, sharing the quiet moment, until their ears prick with the sounds of the front door opening and Naruto dropping his heavy boots in the entryway with a thud.</p><p>“I’m home!” he calls out.  Then a moment later, “What the heck happened in here you guys?  The living room is a mess!”</p><p>Sasuke smirks, and Sai’s eyes crinkle in a smile.  It feels so good.  Just the sound of Naruto’s voice can be this much of an antidote.</p><p>Their ears follow the noises of Naruto’s energetic footsteps coming towards the bedroom, their eyes on the doorway in anticipation of his arrival.  When he comes into the room, and sees them bundled in the covers together, he lights up in a grin that makes Sasuke’s stomach flip.</p><p>“Look at you two,” Naruto says, hands on his hips and blue eyes sparkling. “Rolled up like a big burrito!”</p><p>Sai laughs, and Sasuke snorts.  Sasuke is the one to lift the edge of the blanket.  “Hurry up and get in here,” he says.</p><p>Naruto grins even wider, and shrugs out of his flak jacket, dropping it to the floor.  “Hang on,” he says, slipping the shirt over his head in a hurry and undoing his pants, shedding the rest of his mission-worn clothes as quickly as possible before jumping onto the bed like a mountain toad.</p><p>“Watch it,” Sasuke warns, blocking Naruto’s knee before it can hit his groin by accident.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry, make some room!” Naruto wiggles between them, and Sasuke and Sai adjust their positions accordingly until they’re a pile of tangled limbs. </p><p>“You’re all sweaty,” Sai comments, sucking on Naruto’s earlobe.</p><p>“I’ll shower later,” Naruto promises, nibbling Sasuke’s collarbone and leaving a mark.  “Just let me lie here for a bit first.”</p><p>The reunion greetings are sweet, but quick–Sasuke can tell Naruto has pushed himself too hard, as usual.  The three of them enjoy a little making out, wandering hands, and delicious skin contact, when Naruto’s body goes slack.  Just like that, he has drifted off into an easy slumber, sandwiched between them and serenading them with intermittent snores. </p><p>Sasuke and Sai exchange a glance, rolling their eyes, amused.  Then they burrow into Naruto’s warmth until their three heartbeats are in sync, palpating in tandem and in harmony with Naruto and Kurama’s energy until they both can finally let go, and feel safe.  Secure.  Protected.  Needed.  Desired.  Accepted.  Connected.  Worthy of affection and love.  Allowed to exist.</p><p>Meant for more than the unending cycle of killing and hatred and revenge and revolution.</p><p>Sasuke yawns, and slides his arm across Naruto’s ribs to rest on Sai’s angular hip, not caring if all they do together for the next three days is sleep.</p><p class="has-text-align-center"> </p><p class="has-text-align-center">—</p><p class="has-text-align-center">Ω</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!  Shout out to Seabhan for beta reading and helping me polish this fic!  Any weirdness or errors are all mine, haha. ♥</p><p>I'm on anitwt always happy to meet more anime/manga stans! <a href="https://twitter.com/erisabesu3">@erisabesu3</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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